Varieties of Abuse

Emotional Abuse: Puts down abused, name calls, mind games, mental coercion, extreme controlling behaviors, withholds affection, causes abused to lose identity.

Female Privilege: Demeans men, believes women are superior to men, tells jokes that put men down, believes men are helpless, treats husband like child. 

Financial Abuse: Vehicles and property in abuser’s name only, spends money of abused, uses credit or savings to make abused dependent, restricts employment of abused, makes abused ask for money, gives abused allowance, requires accounting for every penny spent. 

Humiliations: Hostile humor, publicly humiliates, criticizes, degrades appearance, parenting skills, housekeeping, cooking, etc. 

Intimidation: Uses looks, actions, gestures, and voice to rouse fear, argues continuously, demands that victim says what he/she wants to hear.

Isolation: Controls what is done, who is seen, who is talked to, limits or listens in on phone calls, sabotages car, restricts outside interests, restricts access to mail. 

Knowledge Abuse: Uses Knowledge gained through therapy, seminars, and self help books to abuse spouse, but doesn’t take responsibility for personal behaviors. 

Male Privilege:  Treats spouse like servant, makes all of the decisions, acts like “master of the castle,” insists upon defining roles that elevate him subordinates her. 

Medical Abuse: Inflicts wounds and does not allow medical treatment, medical treatment denied for normal health issues.

Physical Abuse: Beating, biting, choking, grabbing, kicking, pinching, pulling hair, restraining, scratching, shaking, shoving, slapping, twisting arms, using weapons. 

Power: Denies basic rights, uses the law to enforce power, deprives victim of private or personal life, mandates duties, controls everything. 

Property Violence: Punches walls, destroys property, breaks down doors, pounds tables, abuses pets, etc.

Religious Abuse: Treats scripture as a weapon, specifically words such as “submission” and “obey,” uses spiritual language to manipulate and control. 

Responsibility Abuse: Makes victim responsible for everything in life, for example: bills, parenting, etc. 

Sexual Abuse: Demands bizarre sexual acts, commits physical attacks, treats spouse as a sex object, interrupts sleep for sex, forces sex, exhibits extreme jealousy.

Silence: Uses silence as a weapon, does not communicate, does not express emotion.

Stalking: Spies on the abused, follows the victim to places and activities, displays extreme distrust and jealousy. 

Threats: Threatens to end the relationship, threatens emotional or physical harm, threatens life, threatens to take children, threatens to commit suicide. Uses Children: Relays messages through children, uses visitation rights to harass, uses child support as leverage.

Verbal Abuse: Curses, accuses, name-calls, uses past to control and manipulate, commits mental blackmail, makes unreasonable demands.

Sociologist Murray Straus states that the true rate of physical abuse within marriages involves approximately 50% or 60% of all marriages, rather than the 28% who report it.