The Skeptical Paranoid

• You can never tell him he is skeptical or paranoid, because he will never believe you.
• She thought everyone against her was following her, but then she didn't believe it.
• He thinks the world is against him, and he is right.

The Skeptical Paranoid is intimidated, spineless, negative, fearful, complaining, self-destructive, depressive, irrational, judgmental, limited, tentative, timid, questioning, resentful, dogmatic, egotistical, insecure, masochistic, victim-like, fault-finding, rejecting, rigid, scared, threatened, weak, unstable, unrealistic, nonbelieving, contradicting, always doubting, and unconfident.

The Instigator

• They seldom repeat gossip the way they heard it.
• They can't leave bad enough alone.
• They suffer from acute indiscretion.

The Instigator is sabotaging, meddling, controlling, interfering, indiscreet, sadistic, negative, angry, adversarial, backstabbing, judgmental, fault finding, sneaky, hurtful, jealous, spineless, pushy, unreliable, untrustworthy, petty, lying offensive, manipulative, disrespectful, confrontational, critical, troublemaking, and double-crossing. 

The Emotional Refrigerator

• They have as much expression as a pickled herring.
• They have the personality of the back wall of a handball court. 
• When they give a blood transfusion, the patient get pneumonia from the ice water in his veins. 

The Emotional Refrigerator is cold, calm, aloof, emotionless, secretive, quiet, dishonest, indifferent, intimidated, limited, insecure, unreliable, unexpressive, fearful, rejecting, unevolved, enigmatic, uncommunicative, cowardly, unpredictable, suspicious, and depressed.

The Accusing Critic

• She spends most of her time at the complaint counter.
• They stopped dating and started intimidating.
• He'll ask a question, answer it himself, and then tell you what's wrong with it. 

The Accusing Critic is complaining, intimidating, fault finding, bitchy, attacking, blunt, whiny, uncommunicative, hateful, instigating, irrational, jealous, a Know-it-all, sadistic, self righteous, sharp-tongued, shameless, abusive, acrimonious, annoying, obnoxious, rejecting, rigid, dogmatic, overemotional, negative, unreasonable, questioning, pugnacious, unrealistic, petty, nitpicking, dissatisfied, testy, rebellious, condescending, controlling, disrespectful, offensive, meddling, threatened, threatening, suspicious, mean-spirited, and a perfectionist.


 

The Control Freak

• They call him Bus Driver- he tells everyone where to get off.
• He married his secretary. thinking he'd continue to dictate to her.
• She believes in law and order, just as long as she can lay down the law and give orders.

The Control Freak is invasive, sabotaging, rigid, manipulative, arrogant, aggressive, forceful, backstabbing, bulldozing, self-righteous, meddling, confrontational, dogmatic, egotistical, obstinate, pushy, unreasonable, stubborn, selfish, unaware, threatened, threatening, disrespecting, uncommunicative, stubborn, tenacious, and unevolved.

Much like Bitchy, Bossy Bullies, they are immobilized if not in control. However unlike Bullies, they don't always use anger or meanness to get what they want. Control Freaks often use sweet talk and manipulation.

Control Freaks are not team players and have difficulty delegating authority, as they try to do everything themselves. If things don't go their way, they get angry or lose interest, for for they feel they must orchestrate every move. They set themselves up for lives filled with frustration and disappointment by never going with the flow. Instead they force things to happen, and when things don't go their rigid way they panic and become either angrier or more manipulative.

 

The Arrogant Know-It-All

• She's smart-a regular encyclopedia. On thing she doesn't know is that reference books are never taken out.
• They know all the answers, but nobody asks them the questions.
• If they can't boast about knowing something, they boast about not knowing it.

The Arrogant Know-It-All is pretentious, confrontational, insecure, socially inept, exhausting, manipulative, pedantic, limited, non communicative, judgmental, selfish, self-righteous, pushy, rejecting, annoying, rigid, unaware, stubborn, condescending, sarcastic, controlling, offensive, talkative, and critical.

Arrogant Know-It-Alls don't know anything at all when it comes to dealing with people. Though they may seem to know everything and have all the self-confidence in the world, they are really very insecure people. Otherwise they wouldn't have to let everyone know how smart they are and how much information they have stored in their brain.

Arrogant Know-It-Alls usually talk at you, not with you. In fact, they often act as though by talking to you they are doing you a favor. They enjoy using big words and are very quick to put down your ideas. The condecending tone makes you feel like a dummy, while they in turn feel smarter.

Another tactic of Arrogant Know-It-Alls is to overwhelm you with data and information. You don't have a chance to even compete with them, much less talk about anything intelligently. Since they know it all, they can never be open minded enough to learn more, especially if you are the one talking to them.

Varieties of Abuse

Emotional Abuse: Puts down abused, name calls, mind games, mental coercion, extreme controlling behaviors, withholds affection, causes abused to lose identity.

Female Privilege: Demeans men, believes women are superior to men, tells jokes that put men down, believes men are helpless, treats husband like child. 

Financial Abuse: Vehicles and property in abuser’s name only, spends money of abused, uses credit or savings to make abused dependent, restricts employment of abused, makes abused ask for money, gives abused allowance, requires accounting for every penny spent. 

Humiliations: Hostile humor, publicly humiliates, criticizes, degrades appearance, parenting skills, housekeeping, cooking, etc. 

Intimidation: Uses looks, actions, gestures, and voice to rouse fear, argues continuously, demands that victim says what he/she wants to hear.

Isolation: Controls what is done, who is seen, who is talked to, limits or listens in on phone calls, sabotages car, restricts outside interests, restricts access to mail. 

Knowledge Abuse: Uses Knowledge gained through therapy, seminars, and self help books to abuse spouse, but doesn’t take responsibility for personal behaviors. 

Male Privilege:  Treats spouse like servant, makes all of the decisions, acts like “master of the castle,” insists upon defining roles that elevate him subordinates her. 

Medical Abuse: Inflicts wounds and does not allow medical treatment, medical treatment denied for normal health issues.

Physical Abuse: Beating, biting, choking, grabbing, kicking, pinching, pulling hair, restraining, scratching, shaking, shoving, slapping, twisting arms, using weapons. 

Power: Denies basic rights, uses the law to enforce power, deprives victim of private or personal life, mandates duties, controls everything. 

Property Violence: Punches walls, destroys property, breaks down doors, pounds tables, abuses pets, etc.

Religious Abuse: Treats scripture as a weapon, specifically words such as “submission” and “obey,” uses spiritual language to manipulate and control. 

Responsibility Abuse: Makes victim responsible for everything in life, for example: bills, parenting, etc. 

Sexual Abuse: Demands bizarre sexual acts, commits physical attacks, treats spouse as a sex object, interrupts sleep for sex, forces sex, exhibits extreme jealousy.

Silence: Uses silence as a weapon, does not communicate, does not express emotion.

Stalking: Spies on the abused, follows the victim to places and activities, displays extreme distrust and jealousy. 

Threats: Threatens to end the relationship, threatens emotional or physical harm, threatens life, threatens to take children, threatens to commit suicide. Uses Children: Relays messages through children, uses visitation rights to harass, uses child support as leverage.

Verbal Abuse: Curses, accuses, name-calls, uses past to control and manipulate, commits mental blackmail, makes unreasonable demands.

Sociologist Murray Straus states that the true rate of physical abuse within marriages involves approximately 50% or 60% of all marriages, rather than the 28% who report it.